Q: How long have you been sober?
A: I’ve been sober for about five months now.
Q: Do you still find it difficult now that your body has gone through most of the withdrawal?
A: Oh, yes, absolutely. I feel like there is a hole inside of me, and that everyone can see through it, and that they are all thinking that I’m pathetic or something like that.
Q: Where do you think this hole came from?
A: I used to think that it came from my broken family. My parents divorced when I was eight. I never really got over it. But now, I kinda think that I just don’t know how to be an adult. I never really grew up.
Q: What do you mean you never really grew up?
A: I’m an adult, but I still feel weak and helpless, like a kid. I still feel like I don’t have control over my own life, and like all I have to do is step just a little bit off to the side, and all of it will just go to pot.
Q: Is that why you did drugs? To feel more in control?
A: Well, I sometimes did them to feel more in control of my life, but mainly it was because they took the edge off. I was so stressed out and worried all the time, and alcohol made me not worry and marijuana made me really enjoy myself.
Q: So, why did you even stop abusing drugs and alcohol if they made you feel so much happier?
A: I finally realized that I was not the same person I was before I did the drugs. I realized that I was someone else, and that I did not even know who this new person was. I just really wanted to go back to the way things were before I started abusing.
Q: Did they go back to the way they were before you were abusing?
A: No, things are very different now. It’s harder for me now, because I’m still stressed out, and now I don’t have as much of my former identity as before. It sucks a lot more now.
Q: Do you think you’ll start abusing again?
A: It’s a definite possibility. But I don’t want to go back to being someone I don’t recognize. But I don’t want to be in pain like I am now, either. I don’t really know what to do.
For more information regarding onsite drug and alcohol testing, contact Mediscreen today: : (+61) 1300 79 70 40.
